Sunday, August 31, 2008

More Peeps

So after a frenzy of people coming into town over the last few weeks, there are more! Meredith and Brittaine are next on the journey to San Diego to visit me!

It shall be another crunktacious time with no baby's mama drama.

Tough to Slow Down

Lately I'm finding a hard time with balance. I have learned a lot about myself since coming out to San Diego. The job that I have consumes so much of my time and I literally have to plan out almost every minute of the day to make sure I get what I need accomplished. I leave work, usually very late and it's tough to adjust. I think everyone needs this "simma down" time. I had to apologize to at least one person this week and asked they forgive my "jerkness." I take pride in being nice to people and being patient, I have not been that lately. There is a pattern, it's mostly at work :) When I leave work, everything seems fine and I can be me again.

Anyway. San Diego has been interesting and it's been fun to continue rambling through the city and meeting peeps. This whole experience has definitely matured me in more ways that I care to share. This has been a nice weekend and we are having a nice "BBQ" on the beach on Monday. BBQ in San Diego just means, "grill out."

San Diegans have some jacked up terms.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

What would you ask?

After playing volleyball on the beach for about 3-4 hours today, I'm tired for some reason. I really don't like sand but I like to beat people. I should have taken off my shirt but the thought of sunscreen and sand makes my skin crawl.

Anyway, for some reason I thought about Solomon right before I'm about to crawl in my bed. In 1 Kings raps like this...

1 Kings 3:5-12 (English Standard Version)
English Standard Version (ESV)

5(A) At Gibeon(B) the LORD appeared to Solomon(C) in a dream by night, and God said, "Ask what I shall give you." 6And Solomon said, "You have shown great and steadfast love to your servant David my father, because(D) he walked before you in faithfulness, in righteousness, and in uprightness of heart toward you. And you have kept for him this great and steadfast love and(E) have given him a son to sit on his throne this day. 7And now, O LORD my God,(F) you have made your servant king in place of David my father,(G) although I am but a little child. I do not know(H) how to go out or come in. 8(I) And your servant is in the midst of your people whom you have chosen, a great people,(J) too many to be numbered or counted for multitude. 9(K) Give your servant therefore an understanding mind(L) to govern your people, that I may(M) discern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?"

10It pleased the Lord that Solomon had asked this. 11And God said to him, "Because you have asked this, and have not asked for yourself long life or riches or the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern what is right, 12behold,(N) I now do according to your word. Behold,(O) I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you.

God gave him something that I don't think many people would have even thought to ask. In our culture today, most people would ask for money, fame, popularity, beauty or a boat load of other things. I wonder what I would have asked? I think about all the things we have to make decisions about and lead others into. It would be nice to always know that the God of the universe said that you will always be wise and discerning. Side note...Universe comes from two words, UNI=one Verse=spoken sentence. We live in a spoken sentence. God is cool. Anyway, I think everyone wants to always know they are making the right choices and acting and leading in the direction they should go.

All and all, I guess if we always knew we were doing the right thing, life wouldn't be near as exciting and faith would be too easy.

On a blah note, I have to go back to work tomorrow.

Monday, August 25, 2008

A week in a few words

This has been quite an interesting week to say the least. It was been pretty interesting in many aspects and it is 2:56 in the morning and I just got finished doing some work, and I can't go to bed thinking about work, so I must come write a lil blog to change my thought process.

All the peeps have been here this week and it has been pretty crunk. I have learned that I am apparently either not a good coordinator of social things or the group of friends I coordinate with has major issues. Maybe it's a combo of the two. Either way, I think I might retire from being the social coordinator. I don't deal well with drama and I prefer to keep a "drama-free" type lifestyle. I think I am too simple minded and think logically on too many different fronts. It is also hard to please everyone. I know in speaking, you are almost always going to say something that will offend someone, it is inevitable. Okay, enough about drama.

I did have time to edit a quick video of my friend Tabronkias and how he caught a crab in Point Loma.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Risk and Reality

I think a lot of people think about these dreams they have and the things they would really like to go. When you are a kid, I'm sure you had dreams of something crazy that you wanted to do with your life. I don't think that changes much when you get older, well except maybe you go from a fireman to an actor, or a policeman to a doctor. Who knows, either way, you still dream.

I think I've been too guilty of being a dreamer and not really pursuing things full force. It seems like I always drag my feet to commit to something, but once I've committed. I'm committed. It was a big risk to leave everything and everyone in SC and move to San Diego. I think, even if just for a short time, God has already taught me so much and shown up to me in places I did not expect.

I guess I really want to end my time here on earth knowing that I went after everything that I felt was good, and I jump on opportunities when they came. Right now, I think I have dreams and what I would like to call bonus dreams. Dreams being the things that I believe God has gifted and given me to do, ie. speaking and teaching about evangelism. Bonus dreams would be that I really want to do voice-overs commercially some day. I've spent my whole life thinking about it, made few steps in the direction, but there is a lot more I could do.

Right now, I'm crunk about all my peeps Jet-settin into Diego for the weekend. It's is going to be crunkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

Monday, August 18, 2008

I write stories that make me feel good

I have reasoned with people for so long on the day of rest. I really don't think it matters what day you take, I do think it's important for a believer to take a day and relax, focus on the Lord, what is He doing in your life, and for your body to physically rest. I've not done that in a LONG time and today it caught up with me. I can't even get enough energy to finish writing this and I usually love to write, but I will just say that the Lord is good and there are days that we can just call them "opportunities to grow." :) We did make it to LA, saw "The Price is Right" and made it back safely. I ended the day with my phone hitting the floor in Target and completely cracking and ruined. God has given me so much grace in so many areas, I just looked it, took a deep breath, and now I'm thanking God for the time He gave me with the wonderful iphone.

How do you dissect a day?
The time was early and we were on our way
Traffic was light and the gas tank was full
We stayed up too late the night before and I really wanted to nap and drool.
Continued driving so we could find our way
Price is Right was found to be ghetto but I still found it cool.
I am glad I made it back home safely, realizing the Lord still rules.
Yes my iphone took a big smack and now has a crack.

I will just end this long day poem and eat a pizza and digest the day.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

There is no title

This week is ALMOST over! I feel like all I ever write about is work because lately, it's all I've really had time to do and process. It's been 7ish AM to about 12PM every single day and I am not exaggerating. I leave each day like, "what in the world am I doing?" or "when did all this happen?" It seems like everything just happened quick and I'm here. I'm not complaining but making a statement how fast time flows. Literally, you have to take advantage of life or it will take advantage of you. I keep reminding myself of that always. I feel like, if I'm not careful, life could quickly take advantage of me, so I always need to take time to stop and process where I am. Right now, I know God has me in a season of learning and stretching in so many different ways. I think I struggle with discipline in so many areas and just being here in San Diego and this job, are forcing me to grow in that area. If I fail, people know. I really know my call in this life is to speak and travel and share the good news with the lost, but mainly to train christians to share it and encourage people along the way to talk with their family about the Lord. I feel like right now I need to go somewhere and speak.

There is something about standing in a room full of people that I don't know that drives me like nothing else. Right before I speak somewhere, I get this feeling inside that feels similar to night before Christmas when you are 10. It's all you can do to stay in your room, everything in you wants to just camp out in the living room and meet santa when he rolls in. Speaking generally makes me so much stronger. I leave places and hope and pray that something happened there advanced the kingdom, I almost always leave knowing I've been changed. I don't think it's because I'm some great speaker, because I'm not, but I do think it's just putting yourself in a position to allow God to use you. It just does it for me. Two times in my life I've spoken somewhere and literally felt the Lord draw me out of what I've planned and go with something else. That feels like driving a motorcycle about 130. I've never done that :)

All and all, I need to write things like this to remind myself why God made me and to reiterate in my head what my future is, at least full time future. I'd also like to...

write a book
earn a private pilot's license
do voice-overs professionaly
learn all johnny cash songs on guitar

I'm completely stomped out for the night and now going to eat fruit and relax on the couch.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Conference Calls and Headsets

I am not exaggerating when I say that I have been talking on the phone now for almost the complete day. I started a call about 10AM this morning and have been on the same call for most of the day. Literally with a headset in my ear and working working working. This whole move I'm still trying to digest. I went from a place that I knew everyone, knew my job very well, and knew everything about my surroundings. I'm now in a place that is completely new. I will be the first to say that this experience is stretching me out. I still have a phone in my ear right now and talking, but I just needed to type as usual and do something non-work related to get my head straight!

On another note, being a guy is such a crazy thing. Girls have it rough in so many ways and have to deal with things that men cannot even comprehend. Have you read Leviticus? :) All and all it is tough to be a guy too. There are times when pride is such a crappy thing to have, well almost always. I can speak for most dudes and say that we are a prideful species. What do we have to prove and why in the world do we need to prove ourselves? It doesn't matter if it is in your job, your ministry, your relationships, I think all guys feel the need to prove themselves. To a certain extent, this can be good from a Biblical standpoint, in that you are realizing that your worth is in Jesus and because of him, and anything you do comes out of that understanding. I know that I sin in the way I try and prove myself to people around me. I know in my job, I can't stop until I've beaten something. It drives me nutz for something to beat me. At the end of the day, I want to know I've done something that changed for the good. One day, I hope to speak to thousands of people, and sleep at night knowing I shared the good news.

It's neat how God communicates to us all. He has such a funny way to deal with me and sometimes it makes me just kinda throw my hands, but I have to just laugh. I know that He knows how to deal with me and bring me to a place that He can teach me. It seems like lately, I'm learning more than I can really process, and it's sad because I haven't really felt like I've engaged Him lately or spent time with Him like I know I need to. I talked to one of my boyz today that I haven't talked to in a while. It felt good to talk to someone that really knows who you are and I can be myself. I've learned that in new environments, I'm a little shy and really can't be myself and relaxed. I've confirmed that I need to be around a large group of people to stay sane.

It's also crazy how God puts you on the different side of the fence sometimes so you can get an idea of what it is like. Sometimes I am guilty of seeing life so one-sided, but then He comes and puts me in my place...oh, so that's what it's like over here. ouch.

So I'm glad I wrote a little blog that I can read again one day and laugh at. For now, I'm going to get back on my call that I've been talking through while writing this, and sit in a lab for the rest of the night.

Lil crazy

It's so crazy to try and explain to people what I do in this job. I really haven't found a way to describe it in a way that makes sense. All I have done the last few weeks is work day and night and it's starting to take a toll on me. I NEVER get stressed, almost NEVER, and the last few days I've been straight up jacked up. I'm in the middle of the biggest project in our company and I know this is a season of life God has me in, so I try and keep that in perspective. I know that He has me in San Diego for this short time for a reason and I will keep going. My phone rang more times today and my email went crazier than ever before. I just have to keep taking deep breaths. I am still working now, but figured I needed to write something and do something non-work related, and well, I ended up writing about work! I am going to walk downtown and pick up some food and walk back to my condo with a fresh brain.

The good news is, I told my company today that I'm taking off next week and going to veg out. This vegging out includes going to PRICE IS RIGHT! I need a few days with some good friends to get back in a right state. The only thing that keeps me sane is to be around people!

Maybe God is trying to stretch me for something that I'll need later in life. :) I really can't wait for a day when I can travel and speak to crazy groups of people and tell them about Jesus. He is full of grace!

Tavaras, can you bring my guitar out here to San Diego? I miss it. It misses my bad playing of it.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Just a Jumpstart

When I was about 12 or 13, my parents bought me a dirtbike that was this exact model. A Honda 1977 XL 100. It was $375 and I remember clearly going to pick this thing up. I was so happy. Looking back, I realize how awesome it was for my dad to go get that for me. We did not grow up with money, and I realize now that $375 was a good amount of cash, it still is. I drove this dirtbike for SO long. I'd drive all over Hamer and visit all sorts of people. This thing would sometimes break down and I would get so mad. I would spend the day trying to get it back going. There were times when no matter how much you would try and kick-start it, it just wouldn't crank. What it needed was a good constant push-start. A "push-start" is exactly how it sounds. You put the bike in gear, pull the clutch in, and push it as hard as you can. You get going as fast as you can and let out the clutch. This will engage the wheel against the ground and turn the engine over. The faster you are going, the more times the engine will turn over and the more likely you are to get it going. My mom would see me pushing this thing all over the yard trying to get it running, and eventually, the motor would catch just enough, and I'd jump on and GUN the gas and off I was going again. I'd usually ride around for as long as I could because who knew how long it would stay running.

I stumbled across a note from a friend and some of our conversation back and forth a few years ago and it got me thinking. We talked about all sorts of things and lots of questions and answers, and just good discussion.

For me personally, I need to be around people that are going to do more than kick-start me. I need to be around people that constantly talk about the things of God and push me to grow in Jesus. I've realized this as I've gone in and out of Christian circles and friends. I incredibly enjoy a good conversation and many times walking away with questions and things that make me wonder how I really view the world. I want to be a husband like that someday where my relationship with my wife and kids is the same, we push each other to be stronger. Right now, I hope to be that friend to people that challenges them and leaves them desiring another drink from the fountain of hope at the end of the day.

I am not sure where this motorcycle is today. Last I saw it, it was sitting in a barn near our house. I got a newer one MANY years later and have enjoyed it :)

And yes, I posted back to back blogs. Sue me. Blogging makes me feel better after long days of work.

Go push-start someone.

Working on the weekend is for the birds

What a straight up blessing it is to be in San Diego for a lil while and enjoy all the crazy things there are here. This blessing comes at a price, I am here for W O R K. I am not kidding you, this has been one of the longest weeks in my entire life and qualifies in the top 3 of most work done in my entire life. I have been in a lab for 16 hours almost everyday this week! Tonight, when not many people were there, I turned on this rap mix that John Flowers made for the 2008 New Year's party at Canterbury. I know yall remember that mix. I had to do something to get crunk and stay sane while I worked.

Tomorrow, MORE WORK! Once this is done, I'm straight up ballin for a few days and we all know the 3rd week of August is PRICE IS RIGHT :) Anyone want to come???

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Schedule and Organic Fruit's change on corporate america

Unreal. The last two days. Wake up about 5:30, walk down 4 steps, talk on a conference call for about 20 minutes. Get ready, struggle to go to work. Work harder than I have ever worked in my life, at least on the top 5. Leave work at 12:23 AM. Do the same thing today. Good news is, everything is now working and happy. Bad news is, I'm straight up exhausted, so forgive me for yet another organic video. My goal is to eat every organic fruit I can find for the next few weeks. One a day.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


Cliche it is, but time is so amazing. It seems like we were just having "Monday" nights at Canterbury and now it's been about 3 flippin years! Time will straight up take advantage of you if you don't take advantage of it!

Canterbury, I hope Tavaras is taking good care of you. I shall be home eventually and get back to my SC roots. But for now, I must complete this season...Yes, I see you in there old dirtbike. Yes, I see you there Rover, please don't let Ed abuse you while I'm gone. Apparently he's been letting strangers drive you! Forgive him for that.

It's been almost a 17 hour work day, there is no way that is normal. I am babbling, I must eat some organic peach, maybe, then walk up the 4 steps to my lion loft. (It's what I call it because the comforter I put on it is majestic and makes me feel like a Lion when I slide into the covers.) RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRarrrrrrrrrr.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Organic Fruit

So I took it easy this weekend for the most part. I've been guilty of too much "go go go" since I've been out here. I went to church this AM and came back to the condo for the rest of the day. Lisa and Scott Freeman surprised me from SC and stopped by with their little girl Riley. So Cute. I spent some time with them and then they went about church planting business. They are starting a church out here called "Elevate."

Most of the day I spent doing things like cleaning and veggin out. It was good to relax and not really have any major responsibility for the day.

Since I took this job here, I've realized that I need at least one day a week to veg out. You can start to take yourself too serious if you don't have a good down time day. Sounds like it was God's idea? Hmmm.

If you spend most of the day in a one bedroom / loft, you might make videos like this. I'm sorry.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

New Christian

Pride can be a good thing in certain circumstances. I have pride in my school, Clemson. I am glad I went there, it was a blessing and I'm proud of what it stands for. I'm proud of my family and how they have shaped me and taught me about life without even knowing it.

I realized tonight that there is the other side of pride that is so bad. There are so many times when I know the right word to say to someone, but I don't do it. It's this disgusting thing inside me that worries that I might come across as not cool or whatever the word you want to plug in. God puts something in your heart and you fail to deliver. I know God is sovereign and ruler of the whole creation, but I still believe He gives us morsels of words for people. Paul said how will people know unless a preacher goes. How will people know unless they are sent. There is something that can be said about a glass of wine. I'll be the first to say that I've never been drunk in my life. I don't say that to sound like a super Christian, but to follow up with my sinfulness. There is something that a glass of wine does to me. It almost cuts off a layer of pride. I'm not even sure how to describe it. I think it makes me think less of myself and look into others more. I'm not writing this to say everyone go out and have a drink and get wasted, but I am saying that something can be said about getting over yourself and looking into others lives a little more than you look into your own. I'm guilty of selfishness and pride and it sucks. I have definitely learned that when you do step outside of yourself and step into someone's life, God will show you something and teach you. I learned tonight from a guy who is only been a Christian a few short months. I'm prideful in my first thought and thought, what can I teach this guy, in turn, God uses him to teach me something. He's cool like that.