Scrap the whole thing

Everyone is facing something. Think about it. We aren't perfect people and we live in a fallen world. One of my close friends lost her father to cancer last year. I have written about her before, here. Her dad just withered away right in front of her. It was the first time in my life that I saw what death was really like. First time in my life that I spoke with someone face to face that was about to die and knew it. She had to carry the weight of her family and there were so many things going on. I spent a week with her during the toughest time. When we would go places, I thought about people that took notice of her and wondered how differently they would treat her if they knew what she was facing.

We face people daily that are going through terrible things. I've walked past at least 2 people at work that have lost their husbands. They look happy but I know they have to be hurting when they drive home in the afternoons. How could you not be. We should entertain all people and encourage them the best way we know how. I like the thought of how we can be used by the Lord. I like to leave change on the drink machine in hopes that someone is having a bad day and a few quarters can help. I really don't like it when those machines won't take my dollar and I have no change. The other day I found a dime when I needed it.....it made my day. We all have our special ways to be a light.

I feel like I am constantly trying to patch my life up, here and there. Little sin here, big sin there, just plug here and there. My favorite song of all time is by Jars of Clay, it's "World's Apart." I don't listen to it all the time because it's one of those songs that breaks me down and has power. I don't want to ever get used to hearing it. I think I've gotten used to God, but it's not because I've been listening, it's because I haven't been. I was surfing and found some easy chords to play World's Apart. It's one of the most powerful songs. You cannot digest all the lyrics in one sitting. I've listened to it for years now and still can't get through all of it. Sin, selfishness, being another nail to pierce Jesus. I listen to it and just feel like..."Lord, there is too much wrong with me, just scrap me and start over." My sin is thick and my heart is nasty. I hold the spear that went into His side just as much as the soldier did. I'm scared to pray prayers like "Take my world apart." He just might answer. What would I be like if He did?

We have forever to worship Him, we have today to talk about Him.

"Worlds Apart"

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

{Additional lyrics:}

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart