Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Cover it up

Here is a cup of honesty. In our culture, I guess we are told to "be tough" or for lack of a better word or phrase, "suck it up." Pretend like everything is okay. You will be alright. Life will get better. We go to some churches and hear, "leave all your worries and hurts at the door, worship God freely." If I was lost and said curse words, I would call that, well fill in the blanks. Jesus tells us to bring Him all of our burdens, our thoughts, our whole being. He calls us to lay it all at his feet. We praise Him when things are good and we can praise Him when our flesh wants to do other things. We can praise Him with a spirit of sacrifice.

I went to a Bible study last night. I went in that place broken to pieces. Without telling every detail of my life. I no longer have a girlfriend. The girlfriend I did have, respectfully called to tell me that she is now engaged. Talk about a turn of events. One time in my life, I followed the Lord in all things, sought His approval on everything, respected, name it. We follow the Lord because He is worthy to be followed and not because of our wants and needs. I don't know why He led me the way He did, but I can say that I'm a better man for having known her. I am not okay, but there is hope because I know I will be okay. I will be normal again. Nothing is certain in this life. At Bible study, I listened to every word everyone on stage said. I just wanted to hear something good. They passed out letters to everyone. I think on most days, I would probably have thought it was silly. The letter was basically like it was from God to us. He wanted to tell us that He believed in us. He wasn't mad at us. He loves me. It was a great letter. I soaked it up. I give up trying to understand this life and I am focusing that energy on getting to know Him more. It's possible to follow the Lord whole-heartedly and still get crushed. Our faith depends on that. Jesus exemplified that. We are going to be crushed in this life. Death, heartache, pain...they will all come knocking at our door. When they do, we do not answer the door alone. He will be there to turn the knob and face what's on the other side, His arms will be around us.

The perspective you have in this life changes everything. Does it make this life hurt any less? No. It still hurts. Does perspective help you to keep moving? Yes. To sit and talk with friends about eternity gives me perspective. Friends give me perspective. To see a close friend lose her father and still see her praise her Father in heaven, that gives me perspective. This life is going to pass away before we will even know it really existed. I want the abundant life Jesus talked about now. I'm not into waiting around til glory. I want to walk as He did, serve as He did, and talk like He did. I like the idea that tough times are just as much an opportunity to grow as they are an opportunity to fall. Man, I want to grow.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the honesty. I wish more of us could be like that especially with the ones that we know are walking along with us. I'm glad to hear that the Bible study was what you needed. Isn't it awesome how He works? I didn't know about the engagement but you have been in my prayers and will continue to be. wow! No, you don't know why He lead you down that path but you do know that He will continue to be right by your side and there will be something learned from it. Currently I am doing the Beth Moore Bible study "Believing God". Wow! It's good stuff. The video for this week just really hit me hard. Beth told a story about herself and believing God in her ministry. She told Him several times what she would and wouldn't do and most of it was based on the fact that she thought that she would fail Him. How many times are we scared to step out, try something different because of the fear we have of failing?? failing Him?? The illustration she used was great and this is already too long but if we just truly believe that He is never going to fail us we should be ready to step out! I don't know where yet but I am ready to step!!

Jason said...

I just wanted to say that I love you. Not your fault she has lost her mind. I'm starting to think all girls do at some point. Anyways, thanks for being an example through this in more ways than you know. I'm amazed by your attitude towards everything, and your actions truly reflect Christ. I think He genuinely hurt several times for all of us, but kept His eyes and His focus on His calling. Got a puzzle, some ice cream, and some sappy movies in Columbia whenever you want to visit.

mizwez said...

You amaze me. How is it that you take something so shocking and only see God through it. That's why you're you. That's why we love you. We see God in you

juju said...

JT, from a woman's perspective who had 2 guys do it to hurts, but you heal. God grows us out of these experiences. take heart, if she wasn't the "right one" then there is another. and it makes more sense to know that God protects us from making wrong choices and that it opens the doors for the right choice. once you grasp that, it makes it easier to be happy that 2 people right for each other found each other. i promise.