Just Rest a little easier

I don't think I've ever really struggled through a big decision. The big things in my life, it seems as though the Lord has really just made those choices really clear and the path was layed out almost like an idiot would know which path to choose, maybe God knows me really well. I want to say I completely trust Him in everything, but I know that would be a stretch. In the process of making big decisions sometimes, it seems like I struggle, like most people, with this idea that ..."can I really mess up what God wants to do with me in this life?" ...it's just part of the way I think. I just don't want to get in the way of what He has for me and don't want to take any big decision lightly. I have this book, "A Year with C.S. Lewis" that I sometime read right before bed. This guy was a genius and most of his stuff is too hard for me to read. But, he's been in the grave for a long time and men/women still learn so much through his life and writings. His life really counted for something eternal and the fruit of his life is still going.

I think back on decisions I've made in the past year and can get in this crazy mode of thinking that I really screwed things up or maybe didn't do things right. I want to believe that God is supreme and His grace can cover any stupid decision I make and He can always make good on what I've made bad. I read tonight in the book that reality is never really what we thought it would be. He talked about the planets and how they all have different atmospheres, almost all have different number of moons etc. He loves Christianity because there is no way anyone could just come up with a story this good. An eternal God would create people, people would sin, an Eternal God would send an only Son into a crappy world to die a brutal death, and we selfish and self-serving lost people could find God again. I love this idea of we get to give God all of our sinful things and He gives us His son and eternity when we die. We can live in hope knowing that one day this world will pass away and we don't have to live for the day to day things of this world. It seems that when I start to think about eternity, these "big decisions" in life start to shrink a tad and don't matter as much. The day to day really only matters if it effects the day to day in eternity.

I didn't go to church much as a kid, but when we did go, they would alway do prayer request publicly in church. People would speak out things they needed prayer for. Some people would raise their hands for "unspoken" prayer requests. I'm going to write a book one day, I think I shall call it "Spare Prayers" and if you happen to have any of those, please share them for me. I need to make some big choices soon and want to know I'm walking in the right direction.