Saturday, August 05, 2006

Haven't seen for a while

There was a song I used to listen to all the time called "Haven't seen for a while"...what a great song. Pat Mcgee band sang it. The greatest part was when he talked about "it's 5:15"...because I know what that time of day is like...i'm coming home from work, done for the day, time to relax. I like music.

So I've been gone from the blog for a while and for the few people who still check this thing, well I'm starting back. So a lot, well some, has happened since I last had something to say. My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago. I woke up on a Saturday morning and went into the garage to clean up a bit and just started thinking about her really randomly. An hour later, my mom called and told me that she had passed away that morning. It's really crazy when things like that happen, it gives me just enough scent to know that God is still around and still speaks to us clearly.

She was a beautiful woman. She was like the spiritual rock of our family. She was the type of person that could cook really well and then when she would pray, you would almost cry. You could feel the Lord in her voice and the things she would say. She had an intimate relationship with the Lord and read the Word all the time. She had so many books that she would read. I didn't appreciate my grandma until I got older. Growing up, the prayers were just something you did before you eat. I used to think they were kinda long and I was really ready to just dig into the little biscuits she made that must have been like manna in the Bible. They were so good. As I got older and the Lord got my heart, her prayers started to make sense to me. I realized that she really knew the Lord and everyone that knew her was positive that she had a relationship with him. She didn't grow up with a lot of money so she liked to always make sure people had enough food and always made sure she cooked enough so we could give food to people around her town who didn't have much. She thought about everyone and if she knew you were coming to her house anytime around Christmas, you better believe she was going to give you a present. It might have been a couple of tshirts or a couple pair of socks, but you got something and appreciated it.

As her health started to go down hill, she always could catch me just as I would leave visiting her and ask about our family. She wouldn't ask how much money each one of us had, how big our house was, or anything like that. She was always concerned about each person in our family and their relationship with the Lord. She prayed constantly for the people who didn't know Him. My grandmother and I shared this same passion for our family, our whole family to know Him, really KNOW HIM. I could never leave her bedside without crying so hard. She would pray and it got to me. I learned a lot from her and I wasn't around her all the time. She lived an hour away growing up and when i went to college, I was hours away from her. The only time I would see her was if I went home and would stop by in the nursing home.

She asked me years ago to speak at her funeral. Along with two of her pastors whom she adored. It was such a blessing to be able to do that. I got to speak at the graveside and what an honor I thought that was. I got to summarize a life that was well lived. I talked about how she was a servant and cared for people and their needs. She didn't have much, but made much of not much. I told a story about how her dinner table was set-up. Everyone had a chair except her, she had a stool. I didn't figure out the reason for the stool until I was a lot older. She wanted to sit on that stool so she could get up really quick if anyone needed anything. And don't you dare try and get up and get something yourself, this was a sin. She was a servant and I will miss her...our whole family will. The crazy thing about a life that is well lived is that it doesn't have to stop with her. I've learned a lot from her and hope to carry on what she left with. She wrote this letter for me to read at her funeral. Talk about convicting and loving bound in paper.

In other news, I have found a church, finally. I visited Crosspoint a few months ago and absolutely loved it within the first 5 minutes I was there. I've looked for years and haven't been directly involved with a church that I could call mine. I wanted a church that was open and fun but still taught the scriptures verse by verse. I found it and love it. We start meeting in Tillman auditorium this Sunday, fun times! I hope to do some video work and start shooting some videos around the campus and use it as an evangelistic type tool. Please pray for that if you will :)

In the last bit of news, I started doing some voice-over work. I have desired for many years to get into doing commercials, radio, etc. I finally bought some equipment to start recording. I have a few projects that have been on the back-burner for many years. Soon they will be :)

Oh yeah, I still have a girlfriend after many months, why she keeps dating me, I'm not sure :)

Until next time, have your pets ...well nevermind. :)


stunningman said...

Hey man - glad to see you back posting again. Excited for you about Crosspoint and finally getting to do some a/v work.

Jason said...

Welcome back brother. Great thoughts about your grandmother. I went through the ssame thing with my granddad and it's just a cool thing to be able to directly see the number of people they impacted while they were here.

As for the girlfriend...I'm surprised about that as well.

Love ya, mean it.

Bad Andy said...

I really enjoyed the stuff about your grandmother. I am very sad to hear that she passed away. Love ya brother!

erin said...

justin tanner i was glad to see your thoughts again. and what beautiful thoughts they were. even in just reading about your grandmother i got this overwhelming sense of sure that is what she brought to all you. i also saw it as a challenge..i want that kind of heart and intimacy with the Lord. i love people like that, and you my friend are one of those people as well. your heart is amazing..and im just glad to be able to see into it a little more. keep sharing..its good stuff:)

Share Your Smile said...

Justin -
I was saddened to hear about your grandmother, but excited to hear about the testimony she left for you to tell! That is exciting about the church - we are still looking for a home church (John & I) in England. They are just different, but we will keep trying. We Are living in England -John will be serving there for 3 years and be operational. If you have questions about that, I would have to tell you later. God is doing amazing things and it has been awesome as always! Hope things are going well with the girlfriend ... i don't think I know her ... keep trucking after Jesus! meredith

Bad Andy said...

Justin -

What an amazing woman your grandmother was ...I am glad I will know her one day!!


MTC said...

I see where your comming from

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