My friend Stevie met up with us for a night on the town. Before all that went down, he gave me his best pose on what the ladies really look for in a man. Watch for him soon!

We went to a cover band at Tootsie's and they had the first "band cheerleader" I have ever seen. This guy pictured here with Lindley, well his name is Cool Cody. He gives the best high fives!

Have Fun or Kiss a Stranger Weekend. I did not name it that. We are not sure who did.
All doctors minus me and Stevie Griffin pictured 2nd from the right. Left to right, Justin, Cody, Jason, Mike, Bradley, Stevie G, and Lindley. This picture sums up a night of destorying Nashville. HONKEY TONKIN! We put something on it!

Filled to the brim

We aren't quite like the Waltons, but we have a big family. My parents always taught us to eat everything on our plates and you shouldn't ever waste anything. I've kept this teaching my entire life. Don't put the food on your plate if you are not going to eat it. Don't take the last biscuit, see if someone else wants it. Sometimes this can get you in trouble. Even when I'm full, I feel like I need to eat everything on my plate. We can put a lot on our plate in this life or we can put very little. There is a balance that exists. Too much and we get sick, not enough and we live a wasted life.

I am sometimes overwhelmed with thoughts of eternity and what it will be like. I wonder if all the deep questions of this life get instantly answered or if the beauty of God silences all and we just fall down in awe. I sometimes can't help but to think about regret. The Bible teaches in Revelation 21:4, "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." So many believe there will be no tears in Heaven. I never really agreed. I think it's clear that there will be no tears of hurt in heaven but is it possible to have regret? To fully understand Jesus, we will have to remember our sin. I don't think it will be something that bogs us down or makes us sad, but I do think we will remember it for what it really was. Sin. I was reading a book recently that seemed to present the same case. John Piper described it as "regretful joy." To understand grace, we have to understand sin. Luke 7:47 "He who is forgiven much, loves much."

I don't want to have any regrets, as few as possible at least.

Nashville Post to follow :) I'll put something on it Jeeeson.

Road Trip

Suitcase in my hand, guitar and the band, and my good buddy Jason Greezy Grier. Nashville!

Someone is peeping

People stare. When I was younger, around 9, a buddy of mine and I would run around in the woods and play all day long. We would build forts and kill wild beasts, bores, and wrestle snakes. Well maybe not all of the above, but it was an adventure, always. We were always outside, always doing something. Riding dirtbikes, jumping on trampolines. This happens to be the same boy that once peed on me. I was just getting off the trampoline and putting my shoes on. YOu know you aren't supposed to wear shoes on the trampoline. Well as I'm lacing up, I feel something wet hit my neck. I look up and he has his pants down and has just peed on me. I'm not a violent person, well I didn't used to be. Without taking a second glance, I jumped up and chased him down. I tackled him, held him down, pinned his shoulders with my knees and peed all over his neck. This was one of my funniest memories of childhood. There is nothing greater than remembering peeing on someone. Right Ed? I onced peed on Ed too. He bare-butt farted on me during college and I found him later, and well, another blog. By the way, a bare-butt fart is one that occurs when one pulls down their pants, boxers and all, and well, u get the rest. DISGUSTING!

So I write about my childhood. My friend told me had built the greatest fort in the world. I was ready to see it! We went out in the wild and found it. It was huge! A big dome of all sorts of shrubbery. We could crawl in it and we were secluded. We hung out there all day. I went back to his house, hung around, then we eventually hit the hay. I woke up the next morning with his mom astounded at my face. She was the "hot" mom of the neighborhood. All the boyz would go over when she was "working" on her truck. Anway. She just stared at my face in horror. I couldn't really see well. Well the fort that my friend had built was made completely of poison ivy. The only thing in the world that I'm allergic to. And very allergic. By the time my mom came to get me, I could no longer see. My eyes had swollen shut and everything was shutting down. I was messed up! My whole head was swollen and about everything else for that matter. I had become the elephant man and didn't even know what I really looked like. My mom rushed me to the doctor. She gave me a quick shot to alleviate the swelling. After we left, I was beginning to see again, I could see out just enough to see a few feet in front. My mom stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few things before we went home. SHe left me in the car. Wonder why? Well it was hot and I opened to the door to just stick my feet out the car. A woman beside me in a van just stared at me like I really was the elephant man. It was terrible. She was disgusted at the way I looked, I'm sure.

Everyone stares at weird things. Just 15 minutes ago, a co-worker pointed out a fake hand on a man standing in line. People stared. We stare at the abnormal. I do it too. Even when I consciously try not to, I do.

If people spend so much time staring at the physical, how much more do you think they stare at the spiritual? A guy I respect at work told me today that sometimes you go through things so that other people can benefit and grow by seeing how you face your problems and issues. I've prided myself on not having issues and all of the sudden, I got a few. There are times when I want to be like the world and react the way they would and just be a jerk. Sometimes I honestly feel like drop kicking something. I don't think Jesus did that. I'm trying to understand His spirit. How can someone slap you in the face, make fun of you, spit on you, drag you around, and you not respond? That amazes me. Everything in me wants to respond. A guy at work says..."sometimes I just want to curse when I should remain quiet." People listen to every word we say and watch everything we do. Especially people that don't know Christ. If Christians stare, how much more do non-christians?

I don't think I've ever been at weirder state in my life and I don't know if I've ever experienced as many crazy things as lately. STRANGE! I think it's pride mostly that makes it tough. A close friend says..."Justin, you were my example in how a guy should date a girl, and look what happened to you".....another person says....."I should just be a heathen, look at you and look where it got you." There are major problems with both the above statements, but still it sucks. So drink your coffee, drink your tea, just go live your life and leave me be.

No animals were hurt in the writing of the words above.

My Thought of the day

Life is not about waiting for the day to end, it's about waiting for it to begin.

(I had this epiphany while sitting at my desk staring at my watch.)

Play it smart

We weren't all born with a pair of aces, a straight, or a royal flush. Take the cards you have been given and play them the best way you know. Playing cards is such a great visual of what our life should be like.

I went to my first seminary class last night in Cola. Very eye opening. A room full of people from all different cultures and backgrounds. Chinese, Korean, American, and who knows where else. I'm so self-centered. Being around people like that brings you to this realization. These people are sold out and on a mission, literally. One of the guys that was there stood up and said something to the effect of...God's glory is all over the world, but the knowledge of Him is not. We have His words on our lips, they do not return void. We spent time thinking and praying about Iran, the needs there, the people there. 99.02% of the country does not know Him. Woke up this morning then heard about an earthquake there and people dying. Praise God for missionaries and people that care.

Scrap the whole thing

Everyone is facing something. Think about it. We aren't perfect people and we live in a fallen world. One of my close friends lost her father to cancer last year. I have written about her before, here. Her dad just withered away right in front of her. It was the first time in my life that I saw what death was really like. First time in my life that I spoke with someone face to face that was about to die and knew it. She had to carry the weight of her family and there were so many things going on. I spent a week with her during the toughest time. When we would go places, I thought about people that took notice of her and wondered how differently they would treat her if they knew what she was facing.

We face people daily that are going through terrible things. I've walked past at least 2 people at work that have lost their husbands. They look happy but I know they have to be hurting when they drive home in the afternoons. How could you not be. We should entertain all people and encourage them the best way we know how. I like the thought of how we can be used by the Lord. I like to leave change on the drink machine in hopes that someone is having a bad day and a few quarters can help. I really don't like it when those machines won't take my dollar and I have no change. The other day I found a dime when I needed it.....it made my day. We all have our special ways to be a light.

I feel like I am constantly trying to patch my life up, here and there. Little sin here, big sin there, just plug here and there. My favorite song of all time is by Jars of Clay, it's "World's Apart." I don't listen to it all the time because it's one of those songs that breaks me down and has power. I don't want to ever get used to hearing it. I think I've gotten used to God, but it's not because I've been listening, it's because I haven't been. I was surfing and found some easy chords to play World's Apart. It's one of the most powerful songs. You cannot digest all the lyrics in one sitting. I've listened to it for years now and still can't get through all of it. Sin, selfishness, being another nail to pierce Jesus. I listen to it and just feel like..."Lord, there is too much wrong with me, just scrap me and start over." My sin is thick and my heart is nasty. I hold the spear that went into His side just as much as the soldier did. I'm scared to pray prayers like "Take my world apart." He just might answer. What would I be like if He did?

We have forever to worship Him, we have today to talk about Him.

"Worlds Apart"

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

{Additional lyrics:}

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

Dazed

Do you ever those times when you either see something or experience something....and you're like..."did that just happen?"

"Did I actually see a woman breast feeding her child in the toy section of walmart?" "Did they really say what I think they said?" "What in the world?"

Wax on / wax off. continue to paint the fence people. Take deep breaths of air, the fog will clear.

Billy Graham is a man

I really like to read about my heroes in the faith. Just their stories and how they came to be. What path led them? Who did they meet? Who did they listen to and like? What type of family did they have? Were their parents Christians? How did they handle money?

I read about Billy Graham and Charles Templeton years ago. Templeton left the faith. He passed away a few years ago. He and Billy preached together and many believed Templeton was a greater preacher than Graham. Anway.

I read about Ruth Bell Graham, Billy Graham's wife. She talked about what it was like the first time she met him. It's just so funny to read about. To think that Billy Graham dated. She said after their first date and struggling on which homemade dress to wear. She had two. She said this:

"After that first date, I knelt beside my bed and prayed, 'God, if you'd let me serve You with that man, I'd consider it the greatest privilege of my life."

What a woman. I hear he's a great man, haha. She liked him a lot but it didn't go anywhere. Billy Graham eventually asked her out again after some time, the way the story goes. I'll just post it here:

Billy Frank became the most popular subject in my journals, my poetry, and my letters. But our relationship went nowhere.

I began 1941 by flunking Greek and ancient history. Finally…February 7, he invited me to go to church to hear him preach.

I was surprised. He spoke with such authority…and, at the same time, humility. The star, seen and admired from afar, became a human, personal thing – within reach.

We drove back to campus in his 1937 green Plymouth. I watched his profile as he guided us through the Chicago traffic and marked the glint in his eyes where the streetlights flashed past. I had felt the firmness of his hand beneath my arm as he guided me through the crowd at church. I was impressed by his unaffected thoughtfulness….

As he walked me to the door, he said, “There’s something I’d like you to make a matter of prayer. I have been taking you out because I am more than interested in you and have been since the day Johnny Streater introduced us last fall. But I know you have been called to the mission field, and I’m not definite.”

When Bill was young, he wanted to play professional baseball, and I wanted to go to Tibet. In truth, neither of us had any business doing either….

In September – “The Ring.” It was purchased with every penny of the 65-dollar love offering Billy had received from Sharon Presbyterian Church.

God, let me be all he ever dreamed of loveliness and laughter. Veil his eyes a bit because there are so many little flaws; somehow, God, please let him see only the bride I long to be, remembering ever after – I was all he ever dreamed of loveliness and laughter.

Those sentiments were rather youthful…and short-lived.

“I will not become a Baptist. I have always been and will always remain in the Presbyterian Church!”

“I’d like you to raise a family.”

“I still think I should be a missionary.”

“Listen, do you or do you not think the Lord brought us together?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll do the leading and you’ll do the following.”

I almost slapped the ring back into his hand –

This is just hilarious to me. Imagine a man today saying that to most girls. Most girls would peace out and hit the road. The curse of Genesis 3 I guess. "What, you want to lead me." I'm glad to know that Billy Graham did things right. I really want to meet him.

This might be the gayest blog I've ever written. Forgive me, I'm man. I really do not like the word "Uterus." I wish it was removed from the vernacular. I really would like to replace it with the word "tummy." I really just love the word "tummy." It's just a very sweet word that falls off the tongue with minimal effort.

I will be myself again.

Just typing

So the dog that lives beside me is still orange. She's actually more orange now than she has ever been. This is the dog I want to wash. I used to have a St. Bernard like this one, his name was "babe" and I never really washed him. Well he also didn't look like this dog. If he did, I would have tried to wash him.

The llama down the road from my house is still there. I still slow down to look at him when I drive home sometimes. He just stares. He's the Christian llama that I've written about before, he has a christian house with a cross on it. I think he might sleep there or take short naps. I just love naps but I would never nap with a llama, I hear they spit.

A friend of mine shared something very profound with me. I learned that in ancient Egypt, priest would pluck every hair from their bodies, including eyebrow and eye-lashes. I'm glad I didn't live then, not that I really like my eye-brows or eye-lashes, but the thought of plucking scares me.

Chris Tomlin is a great musician. I would like to be one too. Keep praying Justin. Switchfoot was great also, I was so close, I didn't even have to let my head move, the speakers were thumpin. I like thumpin speakers. Get busy living.

Cover it up

Here is a cup of honesty. In our culture, I guess we are told to "be tough" or for lack of a better word or phrase, "suck it up." Pretend like everything is okay. You will be alright. Life will get better. We go to some churches and hear, "leave all your worries and hurts at the door, worship God freely." If I was lost and said curse words, I would call that, well fill in the blanks. Jesus tells us to bring Him all of our burdens, our thoughts, our whole being. He calls us to lay it all at his feet. We praise Him when things are good and we can praise Him when our flesh wants to do other things. We can praise Him with a spirit of sacrifice.

I went to a Bible study last night. I went in that place broken to pieces. Without telling every detail of my life. I no longer have a girlfriend. The girlfriend I did have, respectfully called to tell me that she is now engaged. Talk about a turn of events. One time in my life, I followed the Lord in all things, sought His approval on everything, respected, cared...you name it. We follow the Lord because He is worthy to be followed and not because of our wants and needs. I don't know why He led me the way He did, but I can say that I'm a better man for having known her. I am not okay, but there is hope because I know I will be okay. I will be normal again. Nothing is certain in this life. At Bible study, I listened to every word everyone on stage said. I just wanted to hear something good. They passed out letters to everyone. I think on most days, I would probably have thought it was silly. The letter was basically like it was from God to us. He wanted to tell us that He believed in us. He wasn't mad at us. He loves me. It was a great letter. I soaked it up. I give up trying to understand this life and I am focusing that energy on getting to know Him more. It's possible to follow the Lord whole-heartedly and still get crushed. Our faith depends on that. Jesus exemplified that. We are going to be crushed in this life. Death, heartache, pain...they will all come knocking at our door. When they do, we do not answer the door alone. He will be there to turn the knob and face what's on the other side, His arms will be around us.

The perspective you have in this life changes everything. Does it make this life hurt any less? No. It still hurts. Does perspective help you to keep moving? Yes. To sit and talk with friends about eternity gives me perspective. Friends give me perspective. To see a close friend lose her father and still see her praise her Father in heaven, that gives me perspective. This life is going to pass away before we will even know it really existed. I want the abundant life Jesus talked about now. I'm not into waiting around til glory. I want to walk as He did, serve as He did, and talk like He did. I like the idea that tough times are just as much an opportunity to grow as they are an opportunity to fall. Man, I want to grow.

Sovereign Humor of God (to be continued)

Jesus is my Lord and He told jokes. I am convinced that it must be true. There is no way that children loved Him, grown men reclined on his chest, and women adored Him, if He were not a fun loving guy. I'm not trying to say that He didn't tell the truth, oh He did. "You brood of vipors" "You white-washed tombs!" But in all of that, in His down time. He was funny. Jesus was God in the flesh and I assume that God the father also has a sense of humor. I've written about it before. But think of funny people that you know. They have qualities that the Lord gave them. We are in the image of God. God must be funny. Did you see what He told Job. "Where were you when I created this world, the oceans, etc..." He has quite a sense of humor and wit.

So I was starting to drag my feet for Ridgecrest this year. I've been so many years and absolutely love it. But for some reason, just like the middle school retreat and high school retreat, I think Satan makes me drag so I won't go. I still go. So off I went to the retreat. I left early and wanted to get there early so I could meet people and prepare myself for the weekend. I really wanted the Lord to heal my heart and to teach me things like He used to. I was confirmed into the ministry at that place. I remember seeing a boy stand up, about 8 years old and give his life to Christ while Adrian was preaching. The retreat was for college students. This small boy knew and understood. He stood up immediately when Adrian gave the invitation. I saw him and just started pouring my heart out to him in a letter, crying my way through the whole thing. I didn't know this lil guy but through him, the Lord sealed that for the rest of my life, I would be called to Him and to see people stand up like that. That was years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday. Ridgecrest as always just been special to me. I expected something big to happen.

So I don't write everything on my blog. There are some things that I'd rather keep to myself and deal with alone, just me and the Lord. Well the Lord knows my heart and knew exactly what type of weekend I needed. Courtney asked me to teach the huddle leaders about evangelism. It was fun. It was so great to meet lots of new people and hear about their hearts and passions. Afterwards, we were assigned to groups. You just pick up a flag from amongst the pile on the floor. I went to get one, but they were all gone except one. Well two actually. Someone tossed one to me. It was #11. Quite funny what that number would hold.

We went on to the assembly and eventually went back to meet with our huddles for the first time. Well I was about to pee on myself, so I stopped by the bathroom. I was late getting to the huddle. I walk in the room and suddenly realized that one of us was not like the others. You ask yourself, what's different here? Well it was my testosterone. I was the only male in the room! A room of all girls? C'mon God, you can't be picking on me like this. This is hilarious. So we all giggled and talked about this fact and eventually named ourselves "Team E with lil T". That means, TEAM ESTROGEN. In case you wondered.

Now I must confess, it was a great group! I must also confess that by Saturday morning, I was sharing with them engagement stories from friends etc. I won't go into further detail for the sake of my man-hoodiness. We had fun.

They let me play "BABY GOT BOOK" on Saturday, I was so happy! Saturday was also time for buzz groups. I was surprised at how many people actually cared about evangelism. During both sessions, it was a packed room. The Lord is so good and I'm glad He calls people like He does. There are so few workers! They were a great group and it was a very fruitful time. I tell you what does it for me. For people to speak afterwards to me about their lost family members and to see that they actually care for them and want to know how to reach them. I really believe that God honors that. To see people passionately care about talking about Him. Those times are memories that are etched in me. Do you care about making Him known? If you are like me, you struggle daily with fear and shame, fight it and go.

Bathroom talk. I had no idea, for most of my life, what girls talk about when they visit the bathroom together. Some call friends on their cell phone, some send text messages, and some even well, here is another part of the story. So a great friend of mine, whom I would never mention, told me something special. To make this story make sense, I must set the scene for you. Anytime I speak, I usually comment on one of two things. One, I always have to pee. I don't know why God made me like that, but I have to pee so bad as soon as I step up to talk. Sometimes, example Lexington HS, I have had to leave, go pee, then come back to finish the talk. Well the other thing I mention is the fact that the Bible I own is HUGE. It's got 4 translations in it and I love it. It's parallel and you can skim across it like a champ. So people usually comment on it, almost everywhere I go.

Back to the story. So my friend tells me:

two girls in the bathroom stalls doing their business at ridgecrest
Girl 1:"but man..i mean did you see his bible? it was so big"
Girl 2 in other stall:"yeah thats like the biggest one i have ever seen."

How can I even finish typing after all this. I'm dying here. This is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time and how much of a blessing would I have missed out on if my friend had not told me. I about lost my insides laughing. This is funnier than women breast feeding in public.

So all these years, I have wondered about what you girls talk about in the bathroom. Now I know, and I'm not sure that I want to know anymore. I think there is a reason that boyz are not allowed in there.

So many great things happened throughout the weekend and you know the crazy thing about being a Christian and dealing with all the heartaches and drama in this world. He is the only one I will ever thank for breaking my heart. Psalm 51:17. The Sacrifices of the Lord are a broken and contrite heart! He's good in all things. Even in the safeness of Huddle house, a funny bathroom conversation, Lee Cunningham got to meet my twin "eve" and see jurassic park, my boyz who give candy so girls will like them, and in people that He allows to know Him despite their sinfulness.

Sad about leaving I guess.

Team E with Little T ( I will explain later) nevermind, I will explain now.

Rambling & Pondering

I really like to write. I enjoy pears. I just bought the big dark kind, they didn't have a sticker on them. I like the stickers because you can tell how much they cost and it's fun to peel off and stick on people. I like restaurants. Well about all of them. I like really nice ones. I wish they didn't charge you money to go there. It's tough to eat healthy at nice restaurants. Doing well on the new diet until Calhoun Corners came along. If you live in Clemson, it's a must go to kinda place. Bring your bling bling because it's not free. I like that God designed our bodies to like food. Meat eating came after the fall of man. We used to eat only plants. Interesting. I do like collards though, with a little vinegar. I really wish our meetings could be spelled "meatings," and then we could have lunch at all of them. Sorry.

There is something to be said about people that love the Lord. I just enjoy being around them. Went to dinner with a couple of guys that love the Lord, as I was listening, I realized that for about 1 hour, the whole conversation revolved around the things of God. In Matthew, Jesus told the religious men that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. It's really encouraging to see that happen in modern day life. It wasn't a struggle to talk about theology, life, small groups, and ministry, it just flowed. It makes me just want to know the Lord in a deep way and to treasure His Word in my heart.

A friend of mine told me something about evangelism. I told her that I desire for people to know Jesus and I feel an urgency sometimes in my heart. Urgency is not enough for us to reach the world for Him, it's only a small part of it. We must go and tell because He is worthy to be known. When I get to heaven, I want Jesus to give me a nickname. He really likes to rename people. People always ask, "how'd ya get your nickname?"...."who gave you that".....think the disciples ever got asked that? Hey Cephas....why are they calling you Peter these days.. "ahh man, shoot, Jesus gave me that name." Ahh man, that's tight. Well if the disciples were around today, maybe they would talk like that. Ok, maybe not. I've rambled enough, I think I will go roam around or eat a pear or something.

Sometimes I think I would explode if humor wasn't a part of this life. I wonder if Jesus told the disciples jokes when they were sad or down. I bet they would be funny and about animals or something. Please click here.

Captured

I really want to learn to capture my days. Tonight, well about 5 minutes ago, I tried to scan through my calendar and capture what I had done in the past few weeks. It's really crazy when you look back in retrospect. Not sure what that means, but I hear people say it :) Productivity is good.

Jesus makes my head move. I really just love music that makes my head move, the stuff that you're just like, "man, that's good." I got home tonight after Bible study and searched deeper into what we talked about. Seriously, Jesus made my head move. Figuring things out in the Bible that I never knew before makes my head spin, figuratively and actually. How can we read the same pages and still miss the big stuff? It's like we eat the oreo and miss the white stuff.

Speaking of oreos. It's really tough to eat healthy. I began eating healthy a while back and it seems like it gets tougher and tougher. There are so many "distractions" in the day. Distractions = krispy kreme layed out on a desk at work. Little pieces of candy in meetings. All these little pieces of badness all over the place. I never realized that I picked all these things up until I started preparing my body to resist them. Isn't that so much like sin? There are so many things that we probably do during the day that are sin but we don't realize it because we have not prepared ourselves to be aware. I'm preparing myself for something big. I'm mad at the tootsie rolls, doughnuts, cheese grits, cakes at bilo, pies at zaxby's, i must stop in midsentence because I want all those things right now.

I will resist and keep trucking along. Something big is on the horizon.